Last week’s blog I detailed how this school year is going to go, with respect to starting our mornings off right; bible reading, memory verse, and praying. I was going to talk first about the new verse for this week but then something just happened and I feel kinda crappy.
The big kid and I just finished rough housing and I started to walk away, he called my name and as I turned around he threw one of the toddler’s stuffed animals at me. Hard. The thing hit me right in the face and it hurt. My reaction was to yell at him, “That is enough! I did not find that funny. Go upstairs now!” His expression went from a goofy playful smile to a hurt sad frown. I’m not sure who was more offended, me for getting him or him for getting yelled at. Although if I had to guess, it would not be me. Mama fail!
Seems like when I’m being patient and kind, it takes me repeating myself several times for the kid to get what I’m saying and do it but when I lose my temper and yell, they know mama isnt playing so you’d better listen. But which is better in the long run? … My kid having hurt feelings because I failed to control my temper is not the way I want to go. Which is why I need these weekly bible memory verses and daily readings just as much, if not more, then they do. What was that again about being slow to anger? (I guess I know what verse I should memorize for next week!)
Week 2’s verses.
Prov 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
The big kid
Psalm 66:20 “Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!”
Prov 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart”
Here is the blog post for last week. Admittedly, Bethany got hers down the very first day while George and I took a little longer to get it. I was so proud of both of them though, they worked hard to learn them and enjoyed quizzing each other. The sweetest part was how one of the days I woke up late (because the baby had a rough night) and I came downstairs, the big kid said they already went over their verses and read together. For them to grow up and get into the habit of choosing for themselves to start off their mornings this way would amazing! This mama’s answer to prayer.
I’m going to tell you a little secret. Are you ready for it? … I want to quit homeschooling.
There. I said it! Yep. True story, that’s my secret. I’ve been thinking it since Christmas break but just too scared to say it out loud. I’m not a quitter. I said we would take it year-by-year but this year is starting to drown me.
I probably should have picked a better time to be contemplating such a big decision. After all, it is 2:30am and my 6 month old has kept me up for the past two hours. (Stupid freaking shots yesterday has his little system all messed up, poor guy!) I’m not exactly thinking very clearly. Ha. While trying to settle the baby down and failing miserably at doing so, I couldn’t help but to think about how much tomorrow is probably going to suck. If it’s anything like tonight and yesterday then I quit at everything. Baby + toddler + 4th grader + all my 50 million responsibilities. I haven’t the strength to do it all! This is nearly impossible.
Thankfully nearly impossible isn’t completely impossible, at least it’s not when you stop trying to do everything in your own strength. Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. I need this on repeat or tattooed across my forehead or maybe both.
I did read a really awesome blog post about quitting.
Apparently I’m not alone. No I don’t really think we will quit tomorrow (this too shall pass) but I do feel better for getting it out there. I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself to be one of those perfect Pinterest moms.
I just needed a pitty party moment. Maybe tomorrow won’t suck as much as I’ve imagined. Or maybe it will! Regardless … But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” Lam 3:21-24. I know I won’t be alone in whatever the day may bring.
I’ve brought how I feel about quitting to my homeschool co-op. If anyone will “get it” it’ll be those moms! Maybe after hearing their wise words I can get a better perspective. More importantly, I’ve prayed about what to do but don’t have peace about stopping. For now it just feels like that decision would be me giving up when it’s getting hard.
And although I bet I’ll regret my whining session in the morning, I’m going to publish this post. Hopefully I can come back and write about finding assurance to continue trudging forward…
Oh my goodness. Where has my sanity gone? It’s disappeared slowly as we have homeschooled, the longer we go the crazier I get. Which is why I’ve been MIA on here. Don’t hate me 🙂 Lol, its not really that bad but today was an unusually difficult day. The child became belligerent and wouldn’t do his work. I made him take a break, in the form of a nap, and then after he went to karate class I dropped them off at the house for the husband to deal with. Let daddy deal with it! 45 mins of mommy free time in the grocery store!!! What! Lol. When I got back the child had completed most of his work. Score!
Real quick (because my iPad only has 5% battery life left), we found our max weight (I believe it’s called rep max, 1rm) today with dead lifts, presses, and squats. I had a lot of fun with it! I’m so pumped to see where I’ll be at in a few months.
My rm’s found today, Sep 10
Back Squat: 125lbs
Overhead Press: 70lbs
Oh. Yeah. That felt fantastic! Superwoman, look out, here I come!!!!! 😀
Its Weigh in Wednesday time! Week 7.
Well technically, today is Thursday, not Wed. Forgive me for being a day late. 🙂 Yesterday I was very busy with planning the baby’s 1st birthday party!! Its owl themes with pink, green, and yellows. She will be one on Nov 14th and Im planning the party 3 hours away from where its located. My wonderful wonderful sister in law is helping me, Im SO thankful for her help because planning from afar isnt easy. Yesterday I made her invitations and mailed all of them out (Ill make a post about her birthday details at another time), which took forever to do! So I didnt have any free time for blogging, which is why this week’s WIW is a day late.
…Its worth the late day because…. I lost FIVE POUNDS this week! 5 lbs!! F.I.V.E. 😀 Im not real sure why I lost 5 (as oppose to my normal 2 or 3), but Ill take it! So that means that I only have 5 more pounds left to lose before Im at prebaby weight (which would make a complete weight loss of 42lbs). My goal was to get there before Thanksgiving. Im still keeping that as my goal because my birthday is Halloween, the husband’s birthday is Nov 5th and the baby’s birthday is Nov 14th. With all the celebration going on, and all the food/cake, it wouldnt surprise me if I gain a pound or two. Lol. Im going to try and be as good as possible so hopefully this week’s 5 lb weight loss wont be all for nothing.
The running is going great! Last week was wonderful. On Saturday I went running at the lake. It was beautiful, weather was perfect, not too cold, and sunny! Oh how I loved running under the sun! All my other runs have een in my neighborhood, which is 90% hilly. However, the lake was completely flat. I was surprised at how much faster I was able to run on flat ground. Finding a place that I love going running at is going to help keep me motivated.
(Heres the lake. This was taken last spring when I took the child for a walk.)
On the days that I dont run I want to start back with yoga. I miss it! I think the only way Im going to be able to accomplish that is to do it in the mornings before the baby wakes up or to do it at night when the baby is asleep.. my days are hectic enough that I know theres no other time. Maybe Ill do a morning session and a night session? Maybe…
Its crazy to think that just a few short weeks ago I would never even attempted such a thing; now Im looking forward to a 5K race on New Years Eve night. Now Im actually starting to believe that I can do this. Run my first race and then continue on to run a half marathon. Its one thing to have to tell myself that I can accomplish this, but its a completely different thing to feel that I can do it. That I can and will do it!
Weight Loss This Week: 5 lbs
Total Loss: 26lbs
Saturday was the first day of FALL! Finally, fall is here! And it actually felt like fall here. The weather was perfect so the fam and I enjoyed the weekend outside. We discovered a new park in town and the playground is built like a fort. Its a kid’s dream! (Except for the jerks that graffitied some of the equipment. Punks!) If you want to feel like a kid again go to the park and play around. Im not ashamed to admit that I had way too much fun swinging and sliding. The child wanted me to play and run around with him. When we got to the slide I was thinking, theres no way Im going to be able to fit into that thing! (It was one of those tunnel slides) How embarrassing it would have been if I attempted to get into that thing and then got …stuck… or something! Even the child asked me if I was going to be able to fit into it… Gee, thanks kiddo. I love you too! But nope, I had plenty of wiggle room and made it all the way down just fine. TYVM. 😛 Oh and of course I brought my camera. (The child is at the stage where he doesnt really like to get his picture taken, so I didnt get any of him. Its like pulling teeth to make him cooperate.) Here are a few pics:
The Hubby swinging with the babe
Sunday was the usual day for us, church and out to eat for lunch. That afternoon I started a craft. Im making a wreath for my mom and me. Ill make a post later about that when Im done. You kno, to show off my wonderful work! 😉 I also did some fundraising, the child is selling coupon books for his school. They bring 5 books home at a time and if they sell those 5 then they get 5 more to sell. The child wants to sell 20 in order to win the prize of a limo ride to a pizza restaurant. 20 freakin books! I dont know if we will be able to do that, I might end up buying most of them for him. Haha. Actually, I dont even know if we will buy one. Its mostly for fast food places and we never go anymore. Anyways, we walked around the neighborhood yesterday selling those books. Now, I think my kiddo is very cute! How could you say no to this face…
Thats My Boy!
… we did end up selling all 5 books but it took us forever! Seriously, you dont have 10 bucks to buy a coupon book from this handsome kid whos doing a fundraiser for his christian school?! (Anyone want to buy a coupon book? Lol.)
It was a week ago yesterday that I made my Why So Wasteful post. I wanted to give a quick update. The goal was to stop being such a wasteful person, with regards to food. Cook the food that I have at home, not let the fresh foods get bad, stop running to the grocery store 50 billion times a week even when I have food in my pantry. We did end up going to the grocery store yesterday but only bought creamer (a requirement from the husband for his coffee), bread, and milk. I bet I still can get away with not buying anymore groceries until the weekend! I have a bunch of pasta, I have a feeling that by the end of the week we will have noodles coming out our ears! I bought an italian pasta cook book from books-a-million the other week (on sale for $10 and it was $40.. score!) and am excited to use it. Ill post recipes to any delish meals I make.
until then… have a great week!
Today is September the 11th.
It didnt even occur to me that 9/11 was coming up until 2 days ago! I was going to write a ‘fluffy’ post but it doesnt feel appropriate. I wonder how many other bloggers are also talking about this anniversary. Im sure nothing I have to say is new.. but I also wanted to join in and grieve the deaths of the thousands that died, the many that were injured, and the millions that were affected.
I remember that day pretty clearly. I was a sophomore in high school. I was changing classes and I remember walking past some classrooms with the TVs on, which was unusual, so I was trying to figure out what was going on. When I made it to my room the rest of the students were buzzing around, talking about the first plane crash. We were all still trying to figure out what was going on. My initial reaction was that this was some kind of joke, I didnt really understand. For the rest of the day my school sat glued to the tv sets. We watched as the 2nd plane hit. We watched as the buildings fell. Heard reports of the other plane crashes. It was if … we all were watching some Hollywood movie. I remember lunch time in the cafeteria was eerie quite. And then it was time for school to be let out. Time to go home. Home to what…? To the place where I was suppose to feel most safe and secure. My home was filled with images of burning rubble, people screaming, fire, people jumping from the towers, news anchors crying… For the days to come, I remember seeing Ground Zero being filled with rescue workers and all other kinds of people trying to help out. I had this overwhelming urge to help. But what could I do? I was just a kid. Having that feeling of hopelessness was so unsettling. I dont think Ill ever forget that feeling.
Last year for the 10th anniversary my son’s school did this memorial. Where the parents wrote about their experiences during that day and then the teachers placed the accounts up as a kind of memorial. George was 6. How do you explain to a 6 year old that there are people in the world who have so much hatred in their hearts that they want to end the lives of others. That those people believe their ‘god’ will bless them for killing others who do not hold the same beliefs as them. The husband and I youtubed clips that we thought were age appropriate and showed them to George. But even then, our child has such a tender heart and sweet spirit, even then I do not think he was able to wrap his mind around the acts of those people.
Then that leads to questions like, how could God let those people crash the planes? Why would God let something like that happen? Woah! Thats an even more difficult thing to try and explain. Im not sure Im eloquent enough to come up with some long, theological response. To put it simply, God permitted it to happen because it was His will. Why ..exactly..? I dont know. But, I do know that I place my faith in Him so that means accepting His word as Truth, even when I dont fully understand.
God Was There!
In My Seat
September 10, 2001, First Officer Steve Scheibner packed his suitcase and waited for the phone call finalizing his assignment to fly American Airlines Flight 11, from Boston to Los Angeles. The call never came. In My Seat recounts the events leading up to Flight 11 and the subsequent death of Tom McGuinness in the seat that should have been filled by Steve Scheibner.