New Blog, New Me

What if I fail?

Social media can be a fantastic tool but it can also be a big ole lie! Its super easy to post only the great moments, the good days, the times when you are spot on with your nutrition and exercise, and only showing the after pics. People only showing their highlight reel and never talking about the insecurities or challenges they face. (Well, I guess there are those people who never have battled anything difficult in their life, but I am not one of them.) I do not want to be guilty of publishing a fake version of myself which is why this post is important to me.

Today starts Week 2 of my Fall into Fitness PiYo Challenge. I have some fantastic challengers who are killing it, so far they have totally exceeded all the goals they have set for themselves. It does take a commitment in both money and time; an investment in their health and dedication to stick with the challenge for the 60 days. Along with being inspired by their awesome work, I think its important for me to be completely honest with where I am at in this challenge to: 1) show the progress you can expect, 2) help encourage others that yes I struggle too, 3) I think when you share something personal about yourself that it ties you closer to the people around you.

It’s easy to share when you’ve gotten to the finish line and can show what you’ve accomplished … but its so hard to share when you’re just at the starting point. What if I fail? What if I don’t accomplish my goals? What if I get made fun of? What if? Especially with such a sensitive topic as weight loss. Every single person has an area in life that they struggle with. My struggle just happens to be weight related and I’m fighting to overcome that. Its not a brave thing to share when you have made it to the other side of that trench and have overcome the problem. It is brave thing to share while you are in the middle of fighting to dig yourself out of the hole. And I am still in the fighting stage.

That brings me to this post. My “Before” pics, I took these last week right when I started the challenge so they are really my current pics. No trying to stand in a way that made me look super cute for the camera, no trying to suuuuck it in, no hiding. I posted the pic on my Instagram because I appreciate the support, encouraging comments and love I get there. I haven’t shared them anywhere else because I was a little … nervous.

These shorts I got 2 summers ago when I had originally lost 50lbs. I remember getting them and loving how they fit. I was so happy and confident! I tried them on at the start of this summer and I couldn’t even button them! No amount of jumping up and down, wiggling, sucking in my gut, nothing I did made these babies close! I am happy to say that now they button! So that’s progress. I was even able to get them to zip! But I would never wear them out in public because of how dreadfully uncomfortable they are. Squishing my stomach and not cute. No.

Progress Pants

So here are my Progress Pants. The scale can say whatever it wants to. I have stopped caring what the number is. But my clothes dont lie. I am determined to fit comfortably into these babies by the end of my PiYo Challenge. (Which means, yes I will be wearing white after Labor Day, ha!) Losing inches and gaining confidence, those are my goals. Even though it is a little scary to show the “Current” pic, I will because magic happens when you step outside of your comfort zone! 


How to make the best choice?

I can’t sleep! Everyone else is tucked in their nice, warm beds snoozing away and I’m on the computer typing. What a shame, not being able to sleep should not be one of the problems that a mom has. Its not fair, really. Lol. I kind of did it to myself though, the husband fixes an amazing cup of coffee and I made the mistake of having some later this afternoon. So now I’ve got a coffee buzz – but no sleep!

Something has been bothering me… What do you do when you know you’re about to make the wrong choices but you consciously do it anyways? Like that stupid cup of coffee. I knew good enough that it would keep me up later tonight then what I wanted to but I went ahead and had it anyways. (But really, mama needed her caffeine. Ha.) Or when you peruse the cookie isle at the grocery store, knowing that it wont do you any good to stand there – but you do it anyways. Then you get home and find that somehow the Oreo’s managed to find their way home with you. Woops. Did you know the serving size is 2 Oreo’s? Really. Who eats just 2?! Not me. Ever. I might have good intentions to eat just 2 but then I look down and have eaten 2 whole sleeves.

There is this constant battle between knowing what is good for you and actually doing it. I talk about this with my 10 year old all of the time but it applies to me just as much. I’ll tell him that in any situation you’re faced with you’re always going to be presented with several different choices – so pick the best choice. Best choice: Buying the bag of Oreo’s that I know I will inhale? No. Buy the bag of apples instead. Best choice: Drink the coffee because I’m so tired and grumpy and have seemingly convinced myself that I cant function without it, even at 5:oo in the afternoon? No. Drink a huge glass of water or decaf green tea and deal with no caffeine.

Which brings me to my point. Picking the best choice by exhibiting some self control and discipline. Prov 25: 28 “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.”

It is easier said then done but the more you practice it – the better you’ll get at it. Im talking to myself here. No late afternoon coffee pick-me-ups anymore. :/ Sad but I know its not whats best for me. They get me jittery, cant fall asleep until late, and then I wake up late. Which throws off my whole day. Which just sends me back to the late afternoon coffee pick-me-ups. Instead of cutting it out completely, I’m going to choose to replace it with some (decaf) hot tea.

I’m starting a PiYo Challenge group the day after Labor Day. I ❤ PiYo and what it did for me the first time I tried it so I’m ready to see similar results again this time (increased strength, inches lost, smaller stomach, more flexible). I can not wait to do it in a challenge group form, working it with some friends and being inspired by their hard work will be amazing! But my number one thing that must happen – I’ve got to get out of bed in the mornings. Early. I want to have time to get the workout in before the kids are up and before the busyness of my day starts.

I really hate waking up early, ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you – do not even come at me before 9am. LOL! However, for this PiYo Challenge Im going to really put my self control in check. Along with eating clean and daily exercise .. Waking up at 6:30am (that pains me to say). Doing my normal morning routine, plus adding in the work out. And then cutting the crap in the late afternoon so that I am in bed at a decent hour. No more of this 1-2am nonsense. Working at mastering self control and discipline because I already know what the best choice is – but actually doing it is the hard part.

prov 25 self control

Last week’s blog I detailed how this school year is going to go, with respect to starting our mornings off right; bible reading, memory verse, and praying. I was going to talk first about the new verse for this week but then something just happened and I feel kinda crappy.

The big kid and I just finished rough housing and I started to walk away, he called my name and as I turned around he threw one of the toddler’s stuffed animals at me. Hard. The thing hit me right in the face and it hurt. My reaction was to yell at him, “That is enough! I did not find that funny. Go upstairs now!” His expression went from a goofy playful smile to a hurt sad frown. I’m not sure who was more offended, me for getting him or him for getting yelled at. Although if I had to guess, it would not be me. Mama fail!

Seems like when I’m being patient and kind, it takes me repeating myself several times for the kid to get what I’m saying and do it but when I lose my temper and yell, they know mama isnt playing so you’d better listen. But which is better in the long run? … My kid having hurt feelings because I failed to control my temper is not the way I want to go. Which is why I need these weekly bible memory verses and daily readings just as much, if not more, then they do. What was that again about being slow to anger? (I guess I know what verse I should memorize for next week!)

Week 2’s verses.

Bible memory week 2

Prov 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

The big kid
Psalm 66:20 “Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!”

The toddler
Prov 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart”

Here is the blog post for last week. Admittedly, Bethany got hers down the very first day while George and I took a little longer to get it. I was so proud of both of them though, they worked hard to learn them and enjoyed quizzing each other. The sweetest part was how one of the days I woke up late (because the baby had a rough night) and I came downstairs, the big kid said they already went over their verses and read together. For them to grow up and get into the habit of choosing for themselves to start off their mornings this way would amazing! This mama’s answer to prayer.

Prov 31

Its Tasty Tuesday! I’m going to make it my goal to post a new recipe or cooking tip every Tuesday, I have several new ones I want to try so yall are going to be my guinea pig. Usually my kids are the ones I have as guinea pigs, like that time I made black bean brownies and not even my toddler would touch it. (Not all brownies are created equal and these were horrible, that was defiantly a recipe that went into the Never Try Again pile!)

Tasty Tuesday

Cooking no meat dishes, its important to use spices to add flavor to the dish & make it complete. While we were on vacation this summer I discovered a new spice. Its my new favorite! Caribbean Jerk by McCormick


Took me a little hunting to find it but I bought it from Walmart. Its got a spicy flavor without lighting your face on fire, is a little smoky, and it does give a little Caribbean feel. Ive used it with temped and tofu (in place of meat) as well as various roasted veggies. Add a little sweet pineapple – oh yass! I plan on doing Island Jerk skewers this weekend, veggie for me and shrimp for everyone else. Delish!

Tomorrow will be our first day for the 2015-2016 school year. I just spent the past 1.5 hours planning out our week and I feel like my brain has turned to mush. My fingers hurt from writing so much (so then why am I typing this blog, who knows!) Let me just say, Im giving you teachers props times 10,000! To be responsible for a classroom full of little adults, its your job to fill their brains with as much info as you can – in such a short amount of time and then try to impact them in such a way that they develop critical life skills. That’s no easy task. Plus I have teacher friends who talk of dealing with difficult parents and a myriad social issues. I would give you all Starbucks gift cards and a spa weekend if I could. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Last year was a little rough because we added baby no. 3 to the mix. I got a little disorganized (which stressed me out to the max) and so did the school work. The big kid did great but it wasn’t as well executed as I would have liked. The husband and I have talked about how to go about making changes here and there to remedy some of those issues.

How to get your homeschooling morning off right?

As I sat down today to plan out our first week back the very first thing I did was to plan morning bible reading and memory verses for the kids. My home church pastor always says to start your day off with the bible in your lap. No matter what curve ball gets thrown your way – or how our school day might turn out – at least we started on track! Lots of prayer. Lots. Will be how we keep it up.

At first I was just planning on having the kids do it but leading by example is always the best teaching tool. You can tell them what to do but it seems like actually showing them gets them further. I had their verses planned out but then that little voice in my head (re. the Holy Spirit) was like …. Wait! Youre not exempt from learning these too! Plus, I know my son will just love being able to quiz while trying to stump his mom. This will be fun for him. Im thinking of making a game out of it and at the end of the month have a little prize for accomplishing the memory verses. Ill also be posting the week’s verses here for accountability sake, but also I would love for others to join us!

My verse
Prov 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

The big kid’s verse
Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

The tot’s verse
Eph 4:32 Be kind to one another.
(I know in the pic the reference number is wrong, I caught it after I wrote it down.)

My hubby joked and asked me what verse he should try and memorize. Um. Eph 5:25. That’s all. Hahaha.


I talked about joining the #FitTeamInspire group in the post before last but for today I wanted to share some of the exciting results that Ive seen! Since joining and becoming part of the Beachbody community at the end of last year I decided to throw my dedication into this new avenue. I had lost 50 lbs after delivering kiddo #2 but I did it all on my own. This time around, after baby #3, I really wanted to connect with others and have an extra push.

Our #FitTeamInspire has hosted several challenge groups that I completed: the PiYo and 21 Day Fix Extreme programs. I also used the Focus T25 workout dvds.. as well as continuing with cardio and Zumba class at my gym. Ill be honest, Focus T25 was my least favorite program, its a lot of jumping (plyometrics is the fancy term) and ya girl just isn’t good at that! Its hard and uncomfortable and sucks. Lol. I guess its a good kind of hate. My goal is that once I loose a little more weight, to start and complete T25! The instructor, ShaunT, makes the workouts killer, its a no-joke kind of thing because he demands that you give it everything you’ve got and requires you to focus only what you’re doing. The workouts are short but boy do they work you!

PiYo and Zumba are my exercise loves; PiYo is like yoga on crack, only body weight is used so it makes me feel strong. The progress I saw with this one was slow but once I started noticing a change it was like, BOOM, hello muscles! Plus it is easy to take the moves and use them wherever, when I was on vacation in Key Largo I did PiYo on several mornings. Zumba is ridiculously fun and leaves me feeling oh so sexy! I take the class at my gym and its heavenly for when I need an hour of kid-free time. Finally, 21 Day Fix Extreme is THE program for getting your diet in check. It really helped me tune in to what I was eating and knock out any unhealthy habits. Its fool proof in that the lady who developed it did all the hard work for you, all you have to do is follow the directions and you’re good as gold.

I know that sounds like a lot of different kinds of programs but I love switching it up. Trying new things keeps my interest and helps me stay dedicated because Im never bored. As opposed to just going to the gym and running on the treadmill, yawn! I took a pic of myself before I started with the programs and then again last week, to compare. Sometimes it feels like progress is at a standstill – if the scale wont budge or if I have an off week – but these pictures don’t lie.

Before and After weight loss with Beachbody I’m pretty stoked with the progress! I’m toying around with doing another round of the 21 Day Fix Extreme because I appreciate the dummy-proof program and I think that’s exactly what I need right now with homeschooling starting back. Crazy schedules means this mama doesn’t have the time to mess around. Ain’t no body got time for that! So while this picture shows a before and after – I’m determined to make this “after” my new before!

I wanted to share what I had been doing because I know when I see some else’s transformation I want to know exactly what they did to get their results. There are innumerable different programs & eating plans out there that are suppose to help people get fit, lose weight, get stronger, be leaner, have a sexy body, and be healthy. However, the key is to be dedicated and consistent with whatever it is you’re doing.

Trust the process

I know it might sound crazy but I actually have some free time! The hubby took 2/3 of the children to the gym, while the I stayed at home with our napping baby. Honestly I was not feeling like being too productive today! I just spent the past 20 mins coloring. Yes thats right, coloring. Sure there are 50 million other things I could be doing right now but I am choosing to have productive-less free time. (And it feels good!) Im a little apprehensive for this particular post but something is bothering me, and on my mind and I feel this push to put it out there. (Lord, is that you?) It is friday night, after all, so Im betting most people are busy and this wont be read by a lot of people (wishful thinking?).

Earlier this afternoon I had an appointment at the eye doctor where I was examined to determine if I am a candidate for the LASIK procedure. This is something Ive wanted to do for over 10 years now but I had to wait until my vision had stabilized and for me to not be pregnant! Lol. Im hopeful that now is my time because I am blind, my contact rx is -7.5 so pretty much, without correction I see nothing. Everything is fuzzy.

So the point of this post… while the doctor was examining my left eye he noticed that there is a scar. He questioned me to try and figure out where it might have come from: Had ever had an infection. Nope. Had I ever been in an accident? Nope. Had I ever had surgery? Nope. Had my husband ever given me a black eye? (Juuuust kidding!) Nope! … Had I ever had trauma to the eye? … Well that is the question I could not answer and the source of my uneasiness.

I remember very little about my life before 6th grade. I try but it just does not come easy, its mostly snippets like in a photograph. Bits of information that I feel is real but I cant quite say for certain. Ever find yourself in a conversation and in mid-sentence, you forget a word? The word is on the tip of your tongue but you just cant think of it…  Its there – but not there. Thats what my childhood memories are like. Everything is fuzzy.

The trauma that occurred to my eye, the scar that might prevent me from getting this corrective vision procedure that Ive been wanting since I was 18, more then likely was caused sometime during that fuzzy time. For when I was a baby through my early childhood I was abused by my biological mother. Soon after I was born my biological father left and I was in her care, she was a dangerous woman and had no motherly bone in her body. Im not
really sure why or how someone could show anything except love to their child but she did not; I was exposed to physical harm and was abandoned. Thankfully my grandparents (her parents) were aware of her treatment and I came to live with them at 16 months old. My parents did everything they legally could to protect me but she was granted visitation during the weekends; knowing that she would more then likely hurt me in some way they had no choice but to abide by the court and let me go. Finally after -years- of hard evidence from the abuse/mistreatment and from the recommendation of my guardian ad litem, the courts took her rights away and legally stripped her from being my mother! Safe at last, my parents changed my last name and we moved away.

I know the details of what happened only from the memories of my parents and family members who also fought for my well being. I think its for the best that I do not remember most of my childhood and now I don’t really think about my past at all, I prefer the fuzzy memories over the alternative. Today though, it was all thrown into my face.

I was definitely shaken today, I wasn’t expecting to hear that I potentially wouldn’t be able to get LASIK because of the trauma suffered when I was a child. I was upset over the news I got and automatically wanted to vent about it, I came home and tried talking to my hubby but afterwards I still didn’t feel any better. It wasn’t until I realized, wait a minute I haven’t even prayed about this! and actually did pray that I was able to gain the right perspective. We all go through difficult circumstances, we have struggles and hardships. Hopefully we are able to overcome them and move past but even then, they can still creep back up into your life. What’s important is how you deal; Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Lord promises us that He will be our source of comfort, encouragement, and heal our broken hearts.


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