From the post’s title you’d think this was a recipe blog post. You would be close but not exactly correct. This is a failed recipe post. Today is Friday the 13th! I thought it would be a perfect post for today!
One thing my friends know about me is that I cannot bake. They all get a chuckle out of the fact that I just cant do it. Now, I don’t mean I just burn brownies or overcook cookies. No. I mean that I can follow a recipe for baked goods to a T and still manage to screw it up, so much so that its not worth eating. Im not even being funny. I really cannot bake! Which I guess is fine, I mean.. we cant be experts at everything! 😉 Lol!!
I guess Im a glutten for punishment because any time my family wants something dessert-ish, you’d think I would have learned by now and just go buy something already made from the bakery. But no! I always want to try to make it myself and it never fails, it always kinda sucks. I guess Im so determined to make it because that way I can try to make whatever it is vegan..because the bakeries around here do not have that option. If someone wants to bake a vegan treat for me and mail it to me, Id be thrilled!
I also have a problem with saying no to such treats. Did you know oreos are vegan? Well they are. Go ahead and gobble them down because they don’t contain animal products! But they are so very bad for you and the serving size is 2 cookies! Who in their right mind can eat just 2 oreo cookies?! Not me! which is why I never have sweets in the house. Because I will eat them. And I will eat a lot of them.
So the point of this post. Last week I was making my weekly grocery store run. I texted the husband to see if he needed anything and his response was that I better come back with something chocolaty, or else! …. Ok Honey, suuure no problem! 😉
Of course I didn’t stop at the bakery section, no. I was determined to bake something myself. Mistake #1! I searched the grocery story trying to find something chocolate but not so bad for you! I found the store’s very small organic section and they had a bag of veg friendly organic dark chocolate kisses, on the back was a recipe on how to make brownies. Score! But the ingredient list was a million items long and I thought it best to try something else (Im so bad with forgetting key ingredients!). I walked down my use-to-be favorite isle, the baking isle! With all those yummy boxed brownies, cakes, and cupcake mixes. But alas, ALL of them had milk or something like that listed in the mix. Then I saw it! Betty Crocker has like 3 types of gluten free baked goods: brownies, white cake, and cookies. Milk FREE!. Mistake #2, I went with the brownies.
I got home and saw it called for butter and eggs. Piiish, I got this, or so I thought! I used egg replacer (its like a power thing and you add water) for the eggs and half an avocado for the butter. Uh. Mistake #3! I don’t know what the deal was but when I mixed the ingredients, not a thing happened. They didn’t mix together! It still looked like a power. Oops! It was at that time when the hubby comes in the kitchen to see what I was up to….
I was caught! He just looked at me and shuck his head. I had ruined his chocolate! He insisted on adding half a stick of butter to the mess. I put it in the oven and… out came this brick of brownies. Yummy, huh?! He must have been desperate….because the husband did eventually finish off that tray of ‘delish’ brownies. Ha!
So that’s my adventure of making Fail Brownies. They were at least gluten free!! 😀 But they had a very odd consistency and flavor. More like soil and not brownie-like, at all. I don’t know if they would have tasted normal had I not tried to make them vegan? Id like to think they just didn’t taste good to begin with! 😉 Lol.
And to prove the point that I suck at baking….. pics!